I guess I couldn't have typed a shorter title, maybe if I left it blank maybe it would be significant. Thou I doubt that that would be the case.

My computer is giving me trouble once again, it seems like it's been possessed by some sort of spirit or I been mucking around too much with it's settings that it just wants to kick me back for doing that. Either way, having minor networking issues, and it's been kicking me off the net on such a consistant basis, I don't know what to do anymore. I try dismantling it, giving it some verbal encouragement and it still doesn't get much worse than this. I know it's a pain, but I don't know, the LAN port died this evening until I pressed a few buttons. Lastly it's a little clunky to start, yet it should be much more powerful than that, if I imagine about 5 grand of parts + cost of upgrades over time. I just don't get it, it should 'eat little PC's' for breakfast, but it comes nowhere close, it crawls much like a snail, the noise much like a jet engine on take-off, and the heat well... hottter than 50ºC on such a consistant basis, it's almost unbearable. Yet I need this tonne of materials to be my net server. (oh I might add that this system is rather heavy. I'm struggling to lift it without breaking a sweat). I don't have money to upgrade this thing, I have other things I would much rather spend my money on.

The question is whether this computer is a representation of myself. I probably should sit down and think about it. 'Cos sitting and collecting dust, much like my mind in the desert. The loneliness is killing me right now, so is the sadness.

Been trying to cheer myself up, maybe give myself a few treats, but it's the satisfaction is only temporary. If only I had someone to share the day with, the moments, the ups and downs, knowing they be there. A relationship is partnership for life, for each provides the equal reinforcement, encouragement for each other no matter the good the bad. Right now I without the support, I am probably as unprepared to tread the next phase tides, and feel like tieying my raft to the shore (I need to modify my craft). Yet I have to build myself, piece by piece, to know what defines me as a person.

To be nice to everyone, that just me, don't take offence in that, I just want to know that people care, yet some people just run away when trouble ensues. If it's a personal, say it to my face, and not tell it to others. I know I spread rumours before, which, what and when, is personal business. As a result of these actions, this is my bluntness policy, if you are hurting me, I will tell you to your face, and would expect likewise. Although my expectations are high, I'm only human. Don't be afraid to say things blunt, I won't bite, and if I do, then tell me off for that.

Back to other notes:
Programming is being a pain!! I don't know what's wrong, but it seems like evertime I want something to calculate, or store, it crashes. Maybe it's my deteriorated programming skill. cos it's not been used for quite sometime. Time to get back to that, and see what I can conjour up.

.:KrAkPoT:.

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Life is like a whodunnit mystery, somethings lead nowhere whereas other lead to the source of the proble